get thee to a nunnery: why wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners? william shakespeare, hamlet.

i was due for dinner with ishmael on tuesday night; i owed him money from the last time we went out and offered to buy him some food. i do this and then we meet and get drunk and he ends up paying for the whole thing while i catch a speedy cab back to brooklyn where i can dry heave in peace. anyways, tuesday morning he emails me and tells me he scored tickets to the met, for jules massenet’s “thais.” box seats from a busy partner, so of course i had to run out in the middle of the day, buy a dress and stockings and look pretty for the un-date. 

everything went okay, he blew up at me during dinner cause i called him a douchebag and he yelled, “whats wrong with you?” reminded me of the exact-opposite reaction the doctor would give me when i endlessly busted his balls. patience, with me, is the word of the day. but we went to the opera, i kissed his cheeks and then the night was saved because looking over a few boxes to our left was hillary, bill and chelsea clinton + secret service agents. cool, right? bill clinton has a huge head and that hair is not all his.

thais is probably one of the most vulgar operas i’ve ever watched, and opera being a vulgar show, that says something. fornicating on stage (through music):

find bill’s huge head:

following day, wednesday, christmas eve. i was due for lunch with the cfo. i was pretty nervous about it (see earlier post) but by the time lunch rolled around at a pricey cafe on 16th, i was fine. whatever, i don’t need to woo him, i’m the twenty-five year old. give me your best shot, cfo. and i sat back and talked articulately and avoided saying, “cock” and “fuck” in every other sentence. the lunch lasted two hours, during that time he brought up the necessity for discretion (regarding our emails) three times, and mentioned once he had “no bad intentions” and then handed me a gift, which turned out to be a $100 gift certificate to saks fifth. i seriously don’t know what to make of this guy, isn’t that the kind of gift you give your secretary? on the otherhand, girlfriends point out that that is a pretty extravagant gift to give someone you barely know. whatever, i acted pleasantly surprised (but not impressed), reached across the table to touch his arm and said thank you.

over the weekend he sent me several 2-3 line emails about interesting articles he read in the ny times, or about the weather in connecticut. a bit of a bore but i volleyed back suggestive, substantive, sexy things and asked him out to dinner. he accepted…gleefully may i say, and we have a date set in january.

just now i looked up from my desk and he was standing there, smiling down at me.  i blushed and stammered because the fruition of my fantasies reminds me that i am no longer a child. he hands me some papers, a list of shares he bought this morning but they might as well be blank. we make chitchat as i turn scarlet. he leaves, goes back to his desk and sends me an email: “i had to do some trades so i could see you.”